Self-sufficient 19-year-old student is pressured by parents to cover a $3–4k water heater repair in their house, despite needing the money to pay off their own student loans: 'You live here too, you know'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 12, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Remember when we were younger and we promised our parents the day when we'd give them their first $ million. Our eyes are big with ambition and dreams at the idea of giving back to our parents as a gesture of appreciation for everything they have sacrificed to give us the good life. 

But what promise do the kids make to the parents who already expect those types of generous rewards from their children? The type of 'What's theirs is ours' mentality! 

This hardworking student has made sure to have enough money to get herself through college. She's considered it all: The loans, the scholarships, the housing…She's created the perfect little financial map to ensure that she gets the education she deserves, without the help of her parents. So when he parents ask her to borrow $3-5k to fix the water heater, she is completely blindsided. Money she's put towards her $5k loan will now have to be paid towards the water tank because she still 'lives under their roof'. Regardless of promises to return the money, she can welcome the idea of contributing to expenses, but sacrificing her education just does not feel justifiable.

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    Handing over dollar bills to someone
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing to give my parents my savings for a new water heater?

    I'm 19 and in university. My parents are in their mid to late 50s. Recently, our water heater sprung a leak and needed to be
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    replaced. It's about $3-4k where we live. Here's the thing. My parents don't have the money for it right
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    now, so they came to me asking if I could cover it. I have about $2k saved from my part-time job, and I also have a scholarship that's
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    going to hit my bank account in a month or two. That scholarship money is fully for school because I'm trying to pay off a $5k loan
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    (that's gaining interest) when the fall semester starts. They told me it would just be a loan and they'd pay me back
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    when they could, but honestly, I have no idea when that would be, and I'm not exactly rolling in extra cash myself. What really bugs me
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    is they know I've been saving to pay off my debt, and now they're basically asking me to push that aside for them.
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    When I hesitated, my mom got all sad and said "I guess we'll just have to pull out a credit card" and gave me puppy eyes. I told her to
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    go ahead, and she flipped out, saying "You live here too, you know." I understand every household is different and I have the utmost
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    privilege to live in my parents' home after 18, since a lot of people have to move out. I also don't contribute to the mortgage.
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    But it still feels unfair that they expect me to hand over my savings, especially when they somehow have money for
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    cig tes, al ol, OR even cruises, but can't save for emergencies like this.
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    maintenance of a broken water heater tank
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    jazz-winelover That's a little harsh but I do agree. Not all parents can afford to send their kids to college. Maybe you should contribute some for monthly bills. If you live there, you should help out or get use to cold showers.
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    dontknowwhattkname OP I'm paying college completely on my own, with the help of Merit Scholarships. Which im genuinely proud of, and my parents haven't given me a single penny in terms of tuition or college expenses. Yes that being said they have given me a roof over my head for the summer as I live on campus.
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    9BALL22 Why are you "saving to pay off your debt" when you should have been making payments directly on the loan? You would've reduced the interest accrued on the loan and not had available cash for others to request.
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    dontknowwhattkname OP That is a good point I would be paying off the loan but right now I am using the 2k as a safety net just in case anything major happens til I receive my scholarship. This way I could pay off the loan at full. Kinda of ironic I know. But I'm saving this money for crazy emergencies purposes only like medical or car troubles. (This money would still be used for the loan though, I'm just waiting til the scholarship hits my account.)
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    Useful-Commission-76 The scholarship money can't be used for anything but tuition and school supplies. Talk to someone in the financial aid office at your school about how to keep that money for it's intended use. Maybe a hold on the deposit and then cashiers checks made out to the college and the bookstore.
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    dontknowwhattkname OP So I have received a scholarship that is a surplus amount then my actual tuition. I know it's a weird circumstance but due to this that is why I'm receiving a direct deposit of money. Then once my direct deposit hits I will be paying off my loan.
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    lonnielee3 NTA. Your parents are more likely to repay the credit card company than to repay you.
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    Useless890 NTA. If they've got a credit card they can use, why would they want to take your money and make it harder for you? That tells me that they don't think they can make the card payments, which tells you how soon they'd pay you back.
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    musicislife04 They must be trying to get a tankless water heater (extra fancy) - a regular 50 gallon should be more like $2K
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    Stock-Cell1556 You don't have money to spare; it's all earmarked for debt. If you give them what you have, YOU will remain in debt, and if they have to take out a loan or use a credit card to pay for a water heater, THEY will be in debt. It's their house and their water heater, so they should be the ones to take on the debt.
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    Affectionate Mood3794 I would prioritize paying your own debt. That said, the fact that you're living with them rent free and refusing to help isn't a good look. I think you should start contributing in some way. You're an adult.
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    NursingWreck41 I disagree with most here. I have a college kid too and she doesn't pay any bills and works. I've had to borrow 3k from her last year. It was all she had. My husband was in ICU we were 6 months without his income and I had to do miracles with mine. Her 3k helped save our family home and I payed her back last month. I also didn't know when I would at the time but I kept my word.
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    Also life is expensive, it's not outrageous to ask all members of the house to help when something comes up.
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  • If her parents are unwilling to activate a credit card, how high are the chances of them repaying their daughter's loan? Mmmm, our intuition whispers answers this daughter may want to avoid…at least for the next 3 years. Is it fair to jeopardize your child's future on account that they should be contributing time and money towards the house? We understand picking up a chicken from Costco, even paying a portion of rent…but could this be one step too far?

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payments tuition time line promises funds credit card FAIL loans student loans thousands pay back family lending water-tank savings college scholarship
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